


Dead Giveaway

by Saltshaker527



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angry Fish, Backstory, Chara Has Issues, Chara Has Their Own Body, Chara Needs a Hug, Chara has issues in general, Chara has trust issues, Female Chara (Undertale), Female Frisk, Fights, French, Frisk isn't so innocent, Fucked Up, I'm sorry this exists, Knives, Multi, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Racism, SAVED Asriel Dreemurr, Sans Has Confidential Experience With Self-Harm, Sans Remembers Resets, Self Harm, Snarky Chara, Sneaking Out, Soul Sex, Talking to the dead, Timelines, Weddings, because he seems like he’s a vegan, graves, mettaton is a vegan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11073528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltshaker527/pseuds/Saltshaker527
Summary: Chara. The name that everyone in the Underground learned to fear. Until they were on the surface and she got her body back, of course. Then they saw she's just a nine year old. But don't be fooled. This nine year old is a rebel with a shocking past that she's struggling to put behind her. She can't seem to stay out of trouble and no one has the guts to put her in her place because they know she's a former killer. No one has the guts except the skeleton, who ironically has no guts at all. When the monsters are thrown into another conflict with the humans, the kids have to act fast. Can Chara get over her hatred for Sans, let herself be helped, and bring victory to her family?





	1. The End of Chara's Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a furry gets the girl and the demon child is pissed about it

    I don't believe this! That bag of bones proposed to mom?! AND SHE SAID YES?! Good god this went downhill so fast!

     Hey.  The name's Chara.  Well my full name is- nope, nevermind, you can use that against me. I'm nine.  Frisk is my sister, Azzy is my brother, and I THOUGHT Asgore was my dad but momma just HAD to have a bigger bone.

Frisk was the flower girl, Azzy was the ring bearer, which left me knowing they were playing favorites.  So when mom asked me to be the maid of honor I was just in shock.  I figured Sans wouldn't agree with that, he hates me.  

Turns out the bride picks the maid of honor, not the groom.  Who knew. 

So there I was standing across from Sans as mom walked up to the alter.  He would've had tears in his eyes if he had any. Frisk and Asriel were standing patiently.  I was restless.  

I started messing with my dress.  I tugged at the lace- I hate lace- until it tore.  I quickly covered the tear and looked up nervously.  Sans was glaring at me.  I flipped him off and turned back to mom.  

Holy shit. 

She was glowing.  My mother was a vision in white.  Her elegant dress was strapless, with a beaded torso and an entirely tule skirt.  The train was made of tule as well,  and two temmies were holding it behind her.  

My mouth fell open at the sight.  She was gorgeous.

The two said their disgusting vows,  consisting mainly of puns, and kissed,  causing me to dry heave then and there.  Frisk and Azzy moved to stand by me, and I got a good smack upside the head from Frisk for gagging.  

They walked down the alter arm in arm and the rest of us followed.  

It was at that point I realized my mistake in tearing my dress.  The tear was on a seam.  And it chose that moment to fall and hit the ground.  In the middle of the aisle.  

Luckily it was just the lace layer of the skirt.  The petticoat was still in tact.  I booked it out of there.  

From there we were allowed to change.  I changed into a simple green dress with a short skirt  which I liked dancing in because I could twirl in it.  No more lace!  

Azzy, Frisk and I stuck to the corner. From there I sat and watched.  Undyne and Alphys were dancing normally,  Papyrus and Mettaton were doing their normal flashy dancing,  and Sans was doing his best to slow dance with mom despite their height difference. 

Sans invited people to stand up and give speeches.  Frisk immediately grabbed my hand and held me back.  

First Papyrus stood.  "Attention? Attention! Ah yes there we go.  Well, I must say im very pleased with my brother for finally finding the girl of his dreams and settling.  Though I do suspect that he will continue to adventure, and drag Miss Toriel, well now Mrs Toriel, through those adventures with him.  Toriel, I give you my brother. Take care of him. Best of luck to you two. And have a splendid life!" the audience burst into applause as he stepped down.  

Frisk got up next,  and as soon as she stepped up everyone was cheering.  "Hi guys.  I know you all think of me as that hero who saved you" I rolled my eyes.  "but today im just Tori's daughter. Sans has acted like the father I never had since we were free  and continued to act like that towards Chara and Asriel as they were brought back.  Today he is officially my father,  and I've never been happier" More applause. 

Without Frisk there was no one to stop me from running up and grabbing the mic.  Everyone fell silent as my hand closed around the microphone.  They all hate me. I know it.  But that didn't stop me. 

"Alright enough of this fluffy shit.  It's time for this to get real" 

"Watch your mouth kid" Sans called from the front table.  

"I am, I'm watching it expose you.  Anyway, it's time you all knew the truth.  Toriel is exactly who she seems.  A sweet little old lady who makes pie and cares for children." I pointed to Sans. "This bitch however,  is a different story.  He abuses me, and has killed me in multiple timelines"

At the mention of the timelines everyone fell into hushed whispers.  Sans eye sockets went black.  "Kid... " he said in his warning tone.  But I ignored this.  

"Yeah.  He straight up murdered me, and Frisk too.  And would you look out the window? The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming,  so maybe people like Sans should be-" 

I hit the ground before I could finish. Sans was on top of me  breathing hard.  His left eye was glowing a steady blue and his left hand had a tight magical hold on my soul.  I fought against him but he held me down effectively.  

"Shut your mouth if you know what's good for you kiddo" he growled.  

No one spoke for what felt like hours.  Finally Frisk coaxed that idiot off of me and helped me up. She dragged me to the bathroom, presumably to lecture me.  

Well, that was that.  Sans and Toriel are married.  And that would be the end of my happiness. 


	2. CHARA-des

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara starts fucking shit up.

I sat in my normal chair,  three rows from the front,  six chairs from the door.  Second grade.  Yes I was supposed to be in third.  I got held back.  Which put me in the same class as Frisk and Asriel.  The teacher was droning on and on about Native Americans.  I had zoned out a long time ago.  

Unbeknownst to anyone here,  there was a kid laying unconscious in the bathroom.  

Little prick tried to take my lunch money.  Dragged her into the bathroom and knocked her out.  Left her with a bloody nose and a broken arm, besides being unconscious.  Waltzed right out without anyone suspecting a thing.  

Or so I thought.  The teacher called my name. "Chara? Chara? Charia-" 

I sat up.  "Say my full name and your dead. What do you want?"

"You got called to the office" .

I groaned and walked to the principals.  Mom met me in the hallway, her arms crossed.  

"Chara, please explain to me why I got called out of my class for your antics?" 

I shrugged and opened the door for her.  

When we got in,  we were soon joined by an angry Sans and very serious principal.  Also a kid who looked pretty banged up- shit it was the kid from the bathroom.  

The principal raised an eyebrow.  "Young Jenna here says she was attacked by 'a delinquent in a green v neck sweater and white miniskirt with too much blush'. Miss Charia-"

"Don't say it"

Principal Wilson sighs.  "Miss Chara,  it appears that the description fits you perfectly.  Do you have anything to say to this?"

I turn to the prick who dares to insult my outfit. "Yeah.  First  it's not blush.  It's my fucking skin.  Second, I'm not a delinquent.  Third it's a skort. Fourth you deserved it for trying to take my lunch money."

Everyone in that room fell silent. Principal Wilson coughed.  "Miss Dreemurr. I'm afraid we're going to have to suspend your child for two weeks." 

I groaned.  "Fuck my life... "

Sans growled. "Kid you're already in a heap of trouble, I'd watch your mouth if I were you."

I groaned again.  "Whatever"  
**********************  
I got my stuff and sat in the front seat of Sans car.  Just my luck, we got caught in traffic.  

"Can I ask you something kid?" 

"I guess"

"Why are you doing this? You've been acting out since I proposed.  What's your problem?"

"Anger issues, medical insanity,  PTSD, depression,  anxiety,  I have a lot of problems"

He slammed on the breaks.  "Medical insanity?!" 

"Trashbag I was in an asylum for five years, I thought you knew that"

"I didn't"

"Oh"

"...So why do you hate me?" 

"Because you killed me and Frisk, because you make stupid puns, because you interrupted my work,  because-"

"Okay, I get it. I've done a lot of shit. But kid, here's the thing. I've seen you with Asriel.  You're gentle as anything with him. Or with the little kids at the park.  But with us you're suddenly big and bad? Why the CHARA-des?" 

I groaned.  "Because I'm crazy.  I'm the ruthless killer,  I'm the angel of death,  I'm the representative of destruction.  Fight me you little shit, I can-"

"Chara-" 

"-take you any day,  you don't stand a chance-"

"Chara... "

-I'm the baddest kid to ever come out of that place, and they dared to keep me-"

"Chariana!" 

I froze.  He knew.  Goddammit he wasn't supposed to find my full name, how did he-

"Breathe kid". His surprisingly calm voice interrupted my thoughts.  

I took a deep breath.

"So you do this because you have some shitty reputation to protect? Is that what you're telling me?" 

I nodded.  "I mean,  I guess." 

Sans pulled forward as much as he could in the heavy traffic.  He twisted in his seat. "Kiddo.  Look at me. "

Hesitantly I obeyed.  "What do you want?" I grumbled.

I got a bony backhand across the cheek.  

"Ow! What the hell you asshat?!" I cradled my right cheek.  

"You're being a dick to protect your bad girl rep. You deserve a lot more than a slap for that."

"That wasn't a slap that was a fucking pimp style backhand"

"I don't wanna know how you figured out what a pimp is."

Finally traffic cleared up and we got home.  I ran in ahead of him and to the room I shared with Frisk and Azzy, but when I got there he was sitting on my bed. 

"While you're home, I think it's time we talked about something."


	3. No Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara becomes more shrouded in mystery than we wanted

I froze.  If he wanted to talk it meant I'd done something. 

"Relax kid.  I just want to talk"

"Sans those five words are the very representation of evil"

He cocked his head,  making me shiver.  The sound of his skull moving....  Ugh.  

"Representation of evil? But kid,  you didn't say them,  I did" he chuckled at his little joke.  

I rolled my eyes.  "Haha, very funny. Now what's this about, what did I do?"

"You're a strange kid.  You won't say a word about your past, or that weird soul of yours... " 

My soul is different.  Most monsters and humans have a soul that's one color.  I have a soul that's half red and half black.  Everyone's figured out that the red part is what weak DETERMINATION I have, but no one understands the black half. No one except me, of course.  

"I'm just a secretive person, I guess.  What's it to you?"

"Well I have been doing some research.  Or, trying to at least.  Searching the name Chariana didn't get me anywhere.  Except some place in France. Is Chariana a French name?"

I nodded.  "Yeah. My mom was French so..."

He nodded.  "So you have two choices here.  You can tell me or let me find out the probably ugly truth on my own.  Because I'm a stubborn ol' bastard, I'm determined to figure out your background.  You're a fucked up kid.  You know it.  You're proud of it.  But the level of fucked up you possess could not have spawned regularly.  No you went through some shit, didn't you?"

I looked at the floor.  

He didn't know. 

He couldn't know.  

"What have you done to him?!"

"He was a crybaby, why do you care?"

"He was my fucking brother you idiot!"

"Aww, is Chariana gonna cry?"

No one could find out. 

Celestè.   
*************************  
At dinner everyone was quiet.  Toriel was clearly pissed at me.  Frisk and Asriel stared with their innocent faces.  I grumbled into my potatoes.  

"Ya know Tori, it's a shame that Chara has to stay home.  No one to watch her, unless we hire a babysitter..."

I death glared him.  Babysitters and I don't get along.  With my help they've burned down houses before.

"…but come on, no ones gonna wanna take care of this deranged little lunatic"

Toriel huffed.  "Sans, first of all. She's not a lunatic"

"Medical insanity" I choked out, hiding it between fake coughs. 

"But you are right.  I hadn't even thought about what she will do."

I picked at the roast beef, questioning why a goat would cook a cow. "Why can't I just stay by myself?" I mumbled.

Or at least I thought I did. Sans and Toriel just...stared at me.  It was unsettling, honestly.  Especially because Sans's eyes were black.  I shivered.  

"....Anyways... " Sans continued.  "I was thinking.  She's suspended for two weeks.  I have the next month off from work. I was going to spend that time helping Grillby open his new place, but I can stay home with the kid"

I stabbed my fork into the table.  "And why do you think I'm going to put up with you for two weeks,  trashbag?"

Toriel smacked my hand away from the utensil. "Use the fork for eating, Chara. Well Sans, I don't trust you two alone for one second, but I guess that's what we'll have to do"

I groaned.  "Dear god, why not just kill me now? It'd only be the 78th time, right?" 

Frisk and Sans visibly tensed up.  Frisk grabbed my shoulder.  "Chara maybe you shouldn't talk about that... ".

"No promises" I whispered.  

I slammed my head on the table, covering my face in flakes of beef in the process.  "Why are we even eating beef? For all you know this was dads best friend back on whatever farm you came from" 

Frisk burst out laughing.  Everyone else was confused.  Oh right, my mother and little brother are sentient farm animals.  I say as if all mammals aren't sentie- you know what that's not why you're here, stop reading this paragraph! 

Why are you still here?


	4. Sans Does Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans must comfort the Chara, who is actually showing emotion. *gasp*

First day of my fortnight of agony was spent spinning in a swivel chair because Sans was "researching" and wouldn't let me leave.  

In all honesty I think he's just watching porn.  

I spun around until I was lightheaded and then some.  This was boring! I started to stumble out of the room, dizzy from my adventure on the chair. 

"Get back here Chariana"

"Do you have to use that name?"

"It gets your attention so I'm going to use it.  You know you aren't allowed to leave my sight these next two weeks.  And I think I found something useful anyway.  Guess what website I found"

"Xxtube? Ugh, the quality is horrible, it's not worth it." I groaned and returned to spinning.  

"Nah I found this website with mental asylum files-wait...  Chara... xxtube is a porn website,  how do you know what it is young lady?!" He fixed his blue power eye on me.  

"How do you know what it is?" I got out, saying a couple words every time I was facing him.   
"It's a new website.  You'd have to have been watching it recently... "

"...Alright you little shit, I won't tell Tori about it if you don't" His cheeks glowed a bright blue.

I smirked.  "Deal.  Wait.  Are you blushing?" 

"No.  Shut up"

"Holy shit you're blushing! How do you do that. You don't have blood!"

"Just drop it kid".

I giggled.. 

Yes, okay, I giggle.  It's a medical insanity thing.  

I scooted the chair until I was next to him.  "So what's this website?". I was already bored out of my mind.  

"It's a list of old mental asylum files, from all over the country.  I mean, I doubt Chariana is a common name.  Shouldn't be too difficult to find you" 

I sunk back in the chair.  "Sans, you're not gonna like what you see okay?" 

"Chara don't be silly.  I never like what I see when you're around me" he replied, sliding the cursor up to a search bar at the top of the screen.  He clicked once in the bar and typed out Chariana in a painfully slow fashion.  Good god.  

Only one file popped up in the results.  Chariana Elizabeth Reed. St Mary Mental Institution.  I held my breath as he clicked the link.  

Name: Chariana Elizabeth Reed  
Diagnosis: Medical Insanity,  Anger Issues,  PTSD,  Depression,  Anxiety  
Reason for Treatment: Killed three children,  both parents,  and two doctors.   
Treatment: Too far gone.  Execution. 

That sounded about right.  

Sans stared at the screen.  If he could drop his jaw it would be on the floor.  I stood with a slight     'I told you so' smirk on my face. Neither  of us spoke for what felt like forever.  

"Wow... "

"I warned you."

"What the hell..."

"I warned you"

"How is that... "

"I warned you"

"You were in that place for five years...  YOU MURDERED SEVEN PEOPLE WHEN YOU WERE FOUR?!" his eyes had skipped the completely black stage, and now his left eye was glowing every shade of blue and yellow.  

"Four and five technically.  I mean, I got put in there a few weeks before our fifth birthday, I didn't kill the doctors until after the birthday." 

"What do you mean, 'our' fifth birthday?" 

I bit down on my tongue, mentally facepalming.  Stupid...

"Nothing, can we be done with this conversation?"

"I want the truth Chariana"

"I can't tell the truth"

"What do you mean you can't?

"Are you deaf?! It means I can't! I've kept him a secret for five years, plus however long I was dead for, and as long as I've been back. And I'm not talking about him now, especially not to-"

"Who is he?" Sans's gaze had drifted to my red eyes and locked onto them. He gripped my jaw tightly, in his hand, not his magic, keeping my eyes in contact with his. I fought against the unwelcome touch, batting at his arm. But he simply grabbed both my wrists in his other hand and stepped forward. His small step trapped my feet between his own, making it impossible for me to escape. 

I growled and tried to snap my teeth at him, a motion that he knew as 'I can and will bite you'. But his hand on my jaw lowered my range of motion and the result was a weak click! of my teeth. I settled for growling. 

"Who is he, Chara?" He asked softly. I shook my head, biting my lip trying to hold back tears. 

"Sis, sis! Look at the ducks!" 

I smiled at the "ducks" which were actually geese, but whatever made him happy. 

"I see them Celestè. They're swimming towards us"

"Hiya duckies!"

The tears were flowing steadily. 

"Oh, kiddo..."

"Shut up!" I roared, burying my face in his greasy sweatshirt and sobbing my eyes out. 

Sans froze. He seemed unable to comprehend what was happening. All at once his grip shifted from my jaw and wrists (respectively) to over my shoulders and on my back. He was...hugging me?

There was a click and I felt the familiar warmth of his magic surrounding me. Through my tears I saw the blurred image of him walking through the house to the couch, me floating behind him. He sat down and waved his hand in a beckoning motion, causing me to float over to him. I had never realized how tall he was. When I landed unceremoniously on him, my short frame stayed on his "stomach". I buried my face in his sweatshirt again, still crying. 

I don't know how long we stayed like that. Eventually he pulled me up to face him. 

"Okay Chara. I can tell that whoever he was really important to you. You're acting the same way I did when you and Frisk killed Papyrus." I wiggled uncomfortably at that. "And I do want the full story, eventually. But for now it's like two o'clock and Toriel's gonna kill me if you don't eat something resembling lunch. So how's about we drop it and head up to Grillby's new place to eat?" He carried me (much to my embarrassment) back to his office and logged off the computer. 

I hesitated. I hated the grease, and the meat made me want to vomit. All meat does. I knew there was no chance of getting a salad, but... 

"Does he have veggie burgers? Or sweet potato fries?"

"He might, he's made additions to the menu now that he's serving humans AND monsters. Gotta say, the humans love the monster establishments. The food doesn't spoil so the leftovers keep amazingly in the fridge. Why the healthy food though?"

"Uh..."

"Chara, are you vegan or something?" 

"Vegetarian. Yes there's a difference."

"...How do you live without bacon?"

"You're judging my eating habits when you have a shelf in the fridge devoted to bottles of ketchup?" I raised an eyebrow at him, shimmying out of his arms to stand with my hands braced on my hips. 

"...Touché. Go get your shoes"

As I slipped on my lime green Converse, I realized something. 

"Hey, Sans?"

"Yeah?"

"You called me Chara. Three times." I informed him.

He cocked his head at me. "Isn't that your name...?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but you called me Chara. Not kid or kiddo. Not Chariana. Chara. The name I like." It was weird to me, the concept that Sans would do something I liked. 

He made some noises of protest for a minute and then sighed. "Yeah. Yeah I did. Now come on, we gotta get some food in you before Tori comes home and slaughters me in cold... Dust..."

I laughed and followed him out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote part of this while having a panic attack so it turned into fluffy stuff.
> 
> Also someone please tell me xxtube isn't a real porn site I just slapped it down and Then I realized it could be real


	5. The Full Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we discover how fucked up Chara really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. TALK OF CHILD ABUSE AND MOLESTATION

I was curled up on the roof outside my window. I had no idea how I was ever going to give the full story. 

I sighed as a small white car pulled up. I jumped off the roof and ran out to meet my siblings. Sans, who was in my room looking for something, teleported outside. 

"You're gonna break your damn neck jumping like that kid. You're too reckless" he said, coming up behind me as Frisk handed me my homework for the day, causing me to groan. 

"What I don't understand is how Miss Robinson expects me to do two weeks worth of homework when I'm not gonna be in the classroom to learn how to do it" But I took the homework packet from her. 

"Dont worry Chara!" Frisk said, throwing an arm around me. 

'Yeah!" Asriel chimed in, putting his fuzzy arm on the shoulder that wasn't occupied by Frisk's limb. "We'll help you!" 

I moaned, that being the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. With these two on my ass I'd have no choice but to get my work done. "My heroes" I offered with a weak smile. 

Sans broke us up. "Alright kids, go get your homework done now. There's four cookies and a glass of milk for each of you on the coffee table."

Frisk shot him a confused look. "But we do our work after dinner, daddy"

I nearly choked hearing her call him that. I'm not exactly innocent. 

"Well tonight Chara has a story to tell us. You won't have time. Do it now." 

Mom stopped us from running off. "Children, how does chicken and noodles sound for dinner?" 

I winced. Chicken. Ugh. But Sans somehow saved me. 

"Actually Tori, it's my night to cook remember? I was thinking vegetable stir fry, with some grilled chicken on the side if they want it." He grinned at me. I gratefully returned the smile. 

"Oh that's right. How could I forget that? Well that sounds lovely, Sans. Alright, run along and do your work."

We obeyed.

***************************

"So Alexander Hamilton was the Secretary of State, right?"

Frisk shook her head at me. "No, that was Thomas Jefferson, Hamilton was the Treasurer." 

"Oh that's right." I pencilled in the answer. "But does everything else look right?" I showed them my paper. We had spent the last two hours reading from a textbook and filling out a worksheet on Hamilton. 

Sans poked his head in. "Kids, dinners ready". 

We ran out to sit at the table. At each seat was a bowl of stir fry, and a platter of shredded grilled chicken in the center. My mouth was watering. I didn't have to eat meat tonight!

Of course that meant I only had roughly 45 minutes before I had to spill everything. Fuck it.  
*******************  
After dinner, I quickly fake yawned as I walked through the living room, looking directly at Sans. "Wow, thanks for dinner but I am a exhausted and I shouldreallygettobed,goodnight!" I turned and made a mad dash for the stairs. 

Sans had other plans though, and teleported behind me, because I felt the back of my jacket being yanked back. I stopped on the third stair, as far as I could go. He jerked his hand back quickly and I lost my balance. Skeletal hands wrapped around my waist, catching me and carrying me back to the giant indigo couch. 

"Where do you think you're going? You can't get too tired to tell that story"

I groaned. Fuck you Sans. 

"Oh yeah, Chara, what's this story you have to tell us?" 

I sighed. "Listen guys. I know you wanna know about my past. But its not pretty. I went through some traumatic shit." I ignored the death glares I was given. "I just... I don't want you to think any differently of me when I tell you this. Its not pleasant". 

I looked around. Mom looked concerned beyond belief. Asriel was leaning into Frisk for comfort. And Sans was next to me with a hand on my shoulder, giving me an encouraging smile. Not that it was saying much since he's always smiling. But it definitely made me feel better. 

"Okay. Here goes nothing."  
**************************  
"So my parents. Jeanette and Devon. Jeanette was French, hence the French names. Anyway. 

I was born a twin. Chariana Elizabeth Reed and Celestè Edward Reed. Except we were conjoined at the head, which is a nightmare of a place to be conjoined at. So we had risky surgery to separate us. And it worked but we both got messed up mentally. But Celestè got it worse.  He suffered severe brain damage. It got him bullied a lot, even though we were only in preschool. 

So, our parents. They... They were pretty bad. Dad was a drug addict, mom was an alcoholic. Mom blamed me for Celestè being as bad as he was. She started abusing me when I was two. Don't ask me how I remember. 

My dad got jealous. See, mom was always either knocking me around or babying Celestè. So she didn't have time to uh, pleasure him anymore. He started making me dress in more revealing clothes, when I was three. He would have me stand in front of him in these skimpy outfits and he'd get off to it. Eventually he started r-raping me. He used the pleasure he got from it to replace the pleasure my mom wasn't giving him. I started keeping a small knife in the waistband of my skirt, in the hopes of hurting him when he got handsy. 

But I still cared about Celestè. I would always protect him. I loved him to death. The bullies came after him mainly at recess, at the preschool we went to. So one day I was staying in. I can't remember what I got in trouble for, probably got dress coded for the skimpy outfits again. So I wasn't there to protect him and the three bullies took advantage of that. 

There was a fence around the playground, obviously. But across the road was a pond...lake...thingy. My brother, being mentally damaged as he was, fell for their tricks and they lured him over the fence to the pond. They pushed him in. They were just trying to annoy him, get him wet and uncomfortable. So it was a shock when he called out "Charia-" and drowned. 

I ran out of the building and jumped the fence but I was too late. He was... He was dead. They were still in shock. I started yelling at them, and they covered their shock and fear by saying he deserved it. He was a freak. So I kept yelling. Not bothering to hold back my tears. And I reached into the waistband to grab my knife. They started making fun of me for crying and I.. well... I stabbed all three of them to death. And I ran home. 

I yelled at my parents that Celestè was dead. They both were drunk off their asses. They started accusing me of killing him. My mom broke my nose, again. My dad started to strip me down. And I stabbed them too. If I had to pinpoint exactly when I went crazy I'd say that was it.

I guess the neighbors called the cops, because I got caught. But when they saw all my scratches and burns and bruises from my mom, they took me to the hospital. Well while they were trying to treat me, I freaked out. Pulled a knife on the doctors, and they knocked me out. They apparently decided my sentence, because when I woke up I was in the high security cell of St Mary's Mental Institution. 

I was there for a few weeks when they realized that the treatment I was on wasn't working. In fact it was just a week after my fifth birthday. So two doctors were leading me to my new therapist. And when the elevator doors closed I strangled the doctors. 

Well I was there til I was nine and a half. On high security all the while. But I figured out how to sneak around. So when I was able sneaking around one day I found my file. I saw my official diagnosis. Medical Insanity, PTSD, severe anger issues, anxiety and depression. And I saw the new treatment I would be put on. Only it wasn't really a treatment. They were gonna execute me. And it would be the next day. 

I decided that suicide would be better than giving the doctors the satisfaction of getting rid of me. So I left a note. It said. "Gone to kill myself so you don't have to. Don't come looking for me". There was an inactive volcano about fifteen minutes outside of the town so I can escaped the asylum, ran to the mountain and jumped into the crater.

Only it wasn't a volcano. It was Mt Ebott. And I didn't die. I landed on a bed of flowers"

I sat back in my seat, signaling that I was done. When I looked at my family no one had anything to say. When they recovered they still weren't speaking in full sentences. 

"Holy..."

"Um..."

"How..."

"Wow..."

"I warned you. It wasn't pretty. Can I go upstairs now?"

Sans was the first to recover. "Not yet. Two questions. If you're name is Chariana where did Chara come from?"

"Oh that's easy" I looked at Asriel with a gentle smile. "When Azzy asked my name I was really out of breath and he couldn't understand what I said. He thought I said Chara and I liked the name so I didn't correct him"

Asriel hugged me from behind. "I did a thing!" 

I giggled. "Yeah. You did a thing"

Toriel smiled as Frisk joined in the hug and took a picture. I rolled my eyes. That would be on Undernet forever. 

"Second question." Sans continued. "What's up with your soul?"

Mom gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean, Sans? Her soul is red."

I shook my head, shooing Frisk and Azzy off me. I stood up and stepped in front of Sans. "Sans, summon my soul, would you?"

He did. My abomination of a soul appeared. Half of it was a dull, dark red and the other half was black.

Mom and Asriel gasped. 

"The red half is my DETERMINATION, though I don't have much. The black half was Celestè. Since we were conjoined, we shared a soul. We each had one half. When he died I got the other half, but it was... Dead. I still only have half a soul, technically. The black half is dead, it's just... There."

"What do you mean it's dead?" Azzy asked. I turned to Sans again. 

"Sans, summon a small attack. Don't send it yet. Just summon it and tell me how much HP it should take". 

Sans continued to keep his hold on my soul as he summoned a small bone. "This should take 4 HP."

I nodded. "Gimme a sec." I stepped as far back from the soul as I could and summoned my HP bar. 80 HP, same as normal. "Okay. Now send it at me"

The bone flew at me. It hit my soul directly and I caught it on the other side and threw it back to him. 

My HP went from 80 to 78.

Frisk stood up. "I thought it would take 4."

"It would've, if anyone else had taken the hit. I have half a soul so I only take half the damage"

"Ooooohhh" the four of them said in unison. 

I sat back down. "There ya go. My horrible life before Mt Ebott. Any questions?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah" Azzy said. "What's suicide?"

I burst out laughing


	6. What The Fuck is a Code 7?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans is panicking and Chara is showing concern for once in her life

The two weeks passed relatively quickly once things weren't so awkward between me and Sans. We mostly sat in silence, but it was comfortable silence. 

On the last day of my suspension, Sans woke up looking shocked. I was confused. He didn't do any of his usual activities that day. I sat on the couch eating a salad and watched him. He was surrounded by a landline, his cell phone, his computer, a laptop, and a tablet. As he typed away he kept staring frantically at the landline, willing it to ring. I checked the time. Mom's class would be in lunch right now, so I texted her. 

Hey, Sans is freaking out, you might wanna call him. 

I sat back and scrolled through Tumblr. 

A couple minutes later the landline rang. Sans snatched it up on the first ring. His voice was frantic. 

"Hello?! Tori?!..... Oh Tori thank God you're okay! .... I've been trying to reach you all day. Listen, you've got a couple monster children in your class right?.... It's a code 7.... Yes, really, it's a code 7. ... Do whatever you have to, get the word out to every monster. Code 7. ... I don't know write it on the board, give all the monster children a note! Do something! Tell the principal to make an announcement!... Okay.... Thank you love. ... Yes we'll discuss this later.... Love you... Bye". 

He slammed down the receiver and returned to his frantic typing. 

After an uncomfortable ten minutes of clicking away at his keyboard, I spoke up. 

"So are you gonna tell me what just happened and what the hell a code 7 is or...?" 

He visibly jumped. "Ch-Chara! I forgot you were here! Listen you d-dont need to worry about it"

"Sans you're stuttering enough to pass for Alphys. What the fuck is a code 7?!"

He sighed. "You don't pay much attention to Frisk's embassy stuff do you?"

"Why would I pay attention to that? Humanity hates me anyway"

"Fair point. Alright, a code 7 is a signal we agreed on. Basically it means there's a human attack and there's a chance at going back to war"

My eyes widened. "Well shit."

"Something about the military this time? That's like the royal guard. Right?" 

I nodded. "Yeah. So every monster knows what it means?"

"The adults anyway. Some older kids do, like Grillby's daughter. I've alerted almost everyone. Something tells me the monster kids will be evacuating school today." 

"Sans this doesn't make any sense. What happened to trigger an attack?" 

"We'll discuss that at the meeting kiddo. In the meantime we have to get to Mt Ebott immediately. Pack your sack kiddo, we gotta go now." 

"Please tell me we're teleporting." 

"No shit kid. I said as soon as possible. Come on!"


	7. Stuck With Him Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara's past comes back to bite her because no one trusts her except Sans

Standing at the base of Mt Ebott is never fun. I've done it too many times now but none of those times involved every monster that I've ever met and subsequently killed watching me, including my mother. Yikes. 

So everyone was in a panic, freaking out about this whole "code 7" deal. Apparently it was something they never thought would happen. 

"What are we gonna do?!"

"We dismantled the guard!"

"We can't handle another war!" 

My mom and her ex husband looked at each other. He nodded to her and she walked a ways up the mountain where everyone could see her. 

"Monsters, please. I ask you all to rethink your logic. You are jumping to conclusions. It is not definite that we are going to war again. Sans only called this code to warn everyone. If we should have to fight, we are prepared. " She motioned to Undyne, who, as a result of suddenly having the attention on her, struck a warrior pose. "Our guard may be dismantled but they can reform any time"

"Yeah, we can take on anything!" Undyne cheered, and a chorus of sentry dogs howled in the background. 

"B-but the human world has changed so m-much since we came up here!" A familiar scientist stuttered. "H-how will we know what t-technology they have now?" She adjusted her glasses on her nose, blushing madly since everyone was looking at her. 

"I think I have a couple people who can help you with that" Sans said, smiling at Frisk and I. I looked at Frisk, assuming he was talking about her. 

"We have two human representatives!" Azzy cheered from beside us. 

"T-two?!" I sputtered. "Why the fuck do you think I can handle this?!" 

I saw monster parents covering children's ears. 

"You're a human, aren't'cha?" Sans questioned. 

"Bone Bag, I'm in a life long identity crisis, I don't know my own species". 

"You're more familiar with it than any of us."

"Well what help are they going to be without magic?" An obnoxious robot asked from the back of the crowd. 

"Mettaton, we don't HAVE magic" I reminded him, rolling my eyes. 

"Oh pish posh, what about those seven magicians that trapped us in the first place? I can guarantee you have magic just WAITING to be tapped into!"

Everyone froze. Frisk and I just stared at each other. Could we really do this? 

"We'll be right back" Frisk said and dragged me around to the opposite side of the mountain. 

"Wha- Hey!" 

"Chara we have to do this" Frisk said excitedly. 

"But what if we can't? Those magicians are long dead, for all we know they were the last of your kind with magic!" 

"Your kind?" She asked. "You mean our kind?" 

"No Frisk. I don't consider myself a human. Not after all the shit I endured from humanity. I'm a monster, all the way through." I thought about this. "And if I'm monster, then I'm willing to do whatever I can to help them. Including try to tap into any magic I have" 

"Yay!" Frisk hugged me and was dragging me around back to the group before I could say another word. 

"We'll do it" we said together when we were back with the group. 

"But if this goes wrong I take no responsibility!" I said, finding it necessary to interject before anyone expected something from me. 

"Fair enough." Someone said. Everyone seemed to agree. 

"But they aren't the only ones who's magic need tapping into." Asgore spoke up. "What about our son?" He asked, looking at Toriel. 

Frisk whispered to Azzy. "I thought you had magic in your God of Hy-" 

He whispered back "I did, but I can't access that form without absorbing all the souls again". 

"Perhaps it would be a good idea to tap into Asriel's magic. But who will be responsible for each of the children?" 

"Asriel fights with weapons. You, Toriel, fight with magic alone. I think it would be best if I taught him" 

That left me and Frisk. Everyone would be willing to take Frisk, no one would be willing to take me. I already knew it. 

"Mrs Toriel, you or my brother would be great with either of the children!' Papyrus said. Goddamn it. I knew he meant well, but neither of them could handle me. It would end badly. 

Toriel looked over me uneasily. "I don't trust Chara with fire magic" 

Fuck. 

No. 

Shit. 

Wait. 

That meant-

"So you take Frisk and I take Chara?" Sans asked her. 

"Yes, I suppose that will do." 

FUCK.


	8. Don’t Mention It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara almost has a PTSD flashback

"You realize that you're literally training me to get revenge on you for all the times you killed me and Frisk, right?" I asked, trudging down to the basement behind Sans. 

"No I'm not. I'm not an idiot. I'd never let you get that strong". 

We were about to start training. Asriel had gone to Dad's and Toriel and Frisk were outside. Sans and I were in the basement because I was going to start with levitation. And Lord knows there was a bunch of old junk in the basement to practice on. 

"So how are you planning to do this?" I asked. "It's not like I can just summon my powers like you can. Hell I still don't think I have any". 

"That's why I wanted to help you. Telekinesis may look simple but it takes a lot of focus until you get used to it. I figured that making you focus on something would help you tap into your magic- if you have it. So....." he drifted off, looking around. He picked up a black button that looked like it was from Mom's coat and set it on a table. He dragged the table over to me and pointed triumphantly at the button. "Imagine that floating. Focus all you've got on imagining that floating". 

I rolled my eyes, but obeyed him. I pictured the button rising into the air and floating around. I subconsciously started pointing around the room, imagining the button following my finger. I imagined it falling, clicking my fingers as it "fell" back on the table. 

When I clicked my fingers, there was a flash of red light. I looked down in confusion and clicked my fingers again. 

There was a blast of red light. 

"Shit!" I yelped, backing away from he light and falling as a I did. I slid into the wall, banging my right shoulder on it and hissing in pain. 

Sans slid over to me. "Fuck, kid are you okay?" He asked, helping me up. 

I clutched my shoulder with my left hand, still wincing. "Y-yeah. Just shocked I guess". 

"Well I think we can safely say that we've accessed your magic." 

"Whoooooo..." I cheered halfheartedly, still holding my shoulder. Sans suddenly turned me around 

"Shit, kid, I hope your shoulder- FUCK ITS BLEEDING". 

I panicked. "No no no no no it's not, it's definitely not". 

I felt a finger on my shoulder. He showed a phalange to me. It was red. Was the blood soaking through my hoodie? 

I stripped off the hoodie and reached around to my shoulder. It wasn't bleeding too badly. Which meant tha- 

"Chara? What are these scars?"

The scars would be visible through the blood. 

"Nothing!" I yelped, trying to cover them. 

"Chariana don't you dare lie to me. You and I both know that these are far from nothing. They're- Jesus Christ kid it looks like someone tried to cut you open!" 

I stayed silent. 

"Chara, you do realize that we're gonna have to clean this up." 

I shook my head. I didn't want him having to look closely at them. 

"Yes we are. They'll get infected. Come on". He grabbed my left arm and lead me upstairs. I hissed in pain. 

"What?" 

"My arm... you can stop pulling me. Let's just go"

He didn't. He just looses his grip and looked down at my arm. 

There was a collection of scars there. Some were smaller, from my fingernails. A few were from scissors, a sizable number was from a razor blade. But the most prominent ones were from Ol' Bloody Mary. 

Bloody Mary is what I call my dagger. The one mom and dad got me for my birthday. I had opened it on my deathbed after poisoning myself. I had asked them to wrap it back up and keep it safe until I was strong again. But I knew I wouldn't be strong again. 

That was the knife that had killed Sans. And it was the knife that had sliced my arm to shreds. 

Sans said nothing. He just shoved me in the direction of the stairs. I ascended to the main floor and waited for him. He joined me and grabbed my right arm this time, pulling me towards the bathroom. He walked out and I heard shuffling. I hoisted myself onto the counter and waited. 

Soon Sans returned with one of my long sleeve shirts and a first aid kit. 

"Okay kid. I know you're self conscious, especially considering you're a rape victim. But I need your tank top off. I can't fully clean your shoulder with it on and it's soaked in blood anyway. So...". He took off his blue hoodie and tossed it at me. "I'll leave the room. You take off the tank top and use that to cover yourself however you need to. Just keep that shoulder uncovered. Kay?" 

I blinked in shock. "Okay...". 

"Call me when you're ready". He left the room. 

Years of hospitals had taught me to dress and undress quickly. As soon as the door was closed I ripped off my tank top. I set it and my hoodie (which I had decided was important to carry up the stairs) on the floor and slid off the counter. I tied the sweatshirt around my torso, covering my breasts (or lack of) and leaving my shoulder free. Finally I hoisted myself back into the counter so my back would be to Sans. I made sure the hoodie wouldn't slip and then I was good. "I'm ready". I called. 

The door opened and Sans was silent. He dug in the first aid kit. I decided not to look at what he was doing. I felt a stinging sensation, then something cold, then a towel. Finally, he wrapped something around the shoulder.

"Who did that to you?" 

"Jeanette". I said simply. 

"Your mother?" He asked 

"She's not my mother anymore" I snapped. 

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, kid I hear ya. Look, I know she abused you and you have every right to hate her, even if she is dead. But you know you don't have to hide it from us anymore, right?" 

I nodded. 

"Now let me see your arm". 

I shook my head, pinning my arm to my side. No way in hell was I letting him see my self harm scars. "You'll be mad at me" I said quickly, attempting to explain my actions. 

He frowned, furrowing his "brow", which was really just his brow bone. "Why would I be mad? Unless it's something you did yourself, of course....". 

I said nothing. 

Sans sighed. "Chariana Elizabeth Dreemurr". 

I winced. At least he hadn't said my original last name. It wasn't quite enough to give me a PTSD flashback, but it still stung. Knowing I had lost, I extended my arm to him. 

He whistled. "I'm not letting you near sharp objects again. What did you use?" 

I shrugged. "Different things. Fingernails, scissors. Those big ones are from my old dagger." He was reaching for the first aid kit again. "Sans, they're old ones. They're healing. That's not necessary". 

He glared at me, pointing to the most prominent one. "That's a fresh one. I'm cleaning you up". 

I pulled my arm away. "No!" 

"Chariana you have two choices. You can let me clean you up or I take you to Alphys and get another person involved."

Damn he was good. 

I submitted and let him clean my scars. He scooped up the blood-stained clothes and walked out. "Put that shirt on and come out when you're done". He closed the door. 

I obeyed quickly. I hated every second of that. Why would I ever willingly reveal my weakness to him?


	9. They Tried to Help Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author discovers she’s great at inner monologues

I grumbled as I stepped out of the bathroom. Sans was whistling to himself, seemingly having forgotten about me. I had never been so humiliated. 

I sat down in mom's armchair. For the first time I felt small in this house. I was short. 4, 1" to be exact. But I had always held a power over people. I was terrifying and unpredictable. I stabbed three small children and left them for dead without a sound. I strangled two doctors, both with loving families at home, in an elevator and I walked out smiling. I'm a psychopath. 

They tried to help me but that hospital was too shit to do anything. They strapped me to tables. Lobotomies were a weekly routine for me. The security system was shit. I snuck out every year to visit my brothers grave and tear up the flowers that Tante Eponine replanted every year. They didn't notice. The night I escaped to jump off the mountain, they didn't even notice I was gone until I was at the base. By the time the alarm went off I was gone. They would never find me. 

As far as they know I'm dead. They didn't find my body at the base of the mountain anywhere. They know I jumped into the crater. They thought it was an inactive volcano, so as far they knew I either had burned to death in the molten lava, or cracked my neck from the fall. Even if I had survived both of those, I would never have made it out of there before I starved to death. 

If they knew the secret of that mountain then they'd be fuming. They tried to get rid of me. I was a menace to society. I still am. That creepy little red eyed twit who killed her parents. No one cares that they had abused and raped me. No one cared that I was the victim. So I made them my victims. 

I can still see the hospital. It's old now. Abandoned. Closed. Busted by authorities for its illegal practices. I wonder who was still there? That guy who practiced satanic rituals in the bathroom?  The woman who spent all day staring at her hands? The people who did what the voices told them to? Did they make it? Were they freed of that hell and sent somewhere that would help them? Did they get out? Are they free and healthy? Maybe they have families and jobs. Maybe they were accepted by society. It's been 50 years since I was there. And I'm still 9 years old. And I'll still never be accepted. 

No one thinks a kid can have these problems. Kids are supposed to be happy. We're supposed to be carefree. But for years my only focus was protecting my brother. And for years after that my focus was telling the doctors what they wanted to hear. In the end it was all for nothing. 

Have you ever woken up and asked yourself why you couldn't have died in your sleep? That was me for three years at that hospital. I wanted out. Of the treatments. Of the medicine. Of the therapy. Of the people trying to help me when they wouldn't even listen to the problem. I wanted to die. It was the only way I would escape. And then I realized that if I died they would win. I couldn't let them get the best of me. That's why I jumped. I wanted to kill myself before they could. I was determined. 

My determination is very scarce. It's there but it's faint. But I was determined in that place. Determined to get the hell out somehow. 

My souls is red. It's faint but it's there. My eyes are red. My determination shines true. And when I have that power over someone else I will never feel small.


	10. Chara Ruins Everyone’s Appetite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara makes rape jokes to cope with her negative childhood and Undyne is a protective fish woman

Everyone was coming over for dinner. And by everyone I mean Alphys, Undyne, Mettaton, Muffet, Papyrus, Napstablook, Asgore, and even Monster Kid, who had been more or less adopted by Alphys and Undyne. The bad news for me was that they were staying for the weekend, not just for dinner. 

Sans and I had agreed to keep my scar situation under "wraps" (he made a stupid pun about my bandages) while everyone was here. First of all, Undyne had gotten very protective of me and Anger Fish ™  is not someone to be challenged. Second of all that was not a conversation I needed to get into at the dinner table. 

Sans was making hot dogs and fries, since it was pretty much all he knew how to cook. I was mentally preparing myself for a night of explaining why I wasn't touching the meat on my plate, but he said he had it covered. 

Before I knew it, cars were pulling up. Papyrus arrived first in his red sports car. I have to admit, he looked pretty cool driving around with the top down like he always did.  Next came The Jeep. Emphasis on "The". It was Undyne's car and she seemed to be appalled at the idea that more than one Jeep existed in the world. So she had named hers The Jeep. I could see Monster Kid sitting in the back, secured by more seatbelts than any human kid would be because he didn't have arms to catch himself if something happened. Pulling up behind them was a dainty little purple Beetle. I just wish I could've seen the looks on the neighbors faces as floods of spiders poured out of the doors. They were Muffet's entourage, and the spider queen soon stepped out and started following the crowd. Next to arrive was Asgore in a beat up grey minivan. Emphasis on the mini. It looked like a SmartCar. Lastly, an enormous magenta and black limo that took up half the block pulled through. Out of the very back door spilled a red carpet and Mettaton came prancing down it. I rolled my eyes from the window. Floating gently after him was Blooky, who was wearing a little hat and bow tie. 

Soon everyone was crammed into the living room. Sans was wearing his "Kick the Kook" apron. It originally said "Kiss the Cook" but I had done some scribbling on it to make it more accurate because he's kooky. 

...Listen I grew up in the sixties, I use weird words sometimes! 

He called Mettaton and I over to him and took us to the kitchen. A piece of paper sat on the counter. "Okay. So, Mettaton, you're a vegan, and Chara, you're a vegetarian. I found a tofu dog recipe that I can make. I just need to make sure you guys can eat it". 

I scanned through the recipe. It was fine for me. I handed it to Mettaton. He had the stricter diet so it might be more difficult for him. But he nodded and set the paper down. 

"Thank you for taking our eating habits into consideration, Sans. I don't think there's anything in this recipe that conflicts with our dietary habits" 

"Uh, Yeah. What he said" I stuttered. 

"Sweet. Thanks guys". 

Mettaton and I started to leave the room, but Sans stopped me. 

"Wait up a second kiddo".

I stayed behind, walking back towards him. "Y-yeah?"

"How's your scars?"

"Which ones?"

"All of them" 

"Still in pain". I shrugged. Not really sure what he expected me to say. 

"But you liked the pain didn't you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

I went dead silent. Damn it how could he see through me?

"Goddamn it kid. Listen. You're hiding something from us. Something pretty important. You're begging for some kind of emotional release right now. But cutting is not the answer. There are so many other things you can do. That's why I've hidden the knives". 

I looked around the kitchen. He was right. All the knives were missing. Damn it. 

"What do you expect me to do? I was never taught to cope with it I was taught to repress it. I don't know how to feel about my suicidal thoughts Sans." 

"We'll talk about that later. Just trust me, okay kid? I know how to deal with this kinda thing" 

I nodded. 

"You wanna help me finish dinner?"  
**********************************  
An hour later, everyone was seated around our dining table. 

"Is milk okay for all the kids?" Toriel asked. 

Alphyne was digging in her bag. "Oh sh-shoot. We forgot his juice."  She looked up, blushing. "We recently d-discovered that Monster Kid is lactose intolerant. W-we usually b-bring his juice with us but-"

"It's no problem" I said. "I drink almond milk. He can have some of it". I stood up and walked to the kitchen to get two glasses of milk. 

Toriel was following me. "Chara, I can get it, if you want to sit down". 

I sped up. I have a problem with other people pouring my milk. I carefully poured two glasses of almond milk and carried them back into the dining room. Sans was following me with a few plates in his magical grip. I set one glass down at Monster Kids place and sat back down in my chair, between Frisk and Asriel. Sans walked in and out with the plates and started setting them in front of us. Once he had everyone's food out except mine and Mettaton's, he went back to the kitchen for he last time. He came out with two plates of hot dogs that looked identical to the others, but we knew they were tofu dogs. I gladly dug in.  I love tofu. 

"Red-eyes, are you lactose intolerant too? Is that why you drink almond milk?"  Undyne asked me. Even though I hate my eye color, the term coming from her is affectionate. 

I shook my head. "I just like the taste of almond milk better". 

"Why were you so insistent on pouring it yourself my child?" Toriel asked me, her voice laced with concern. 

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to phrase this without getting my ass beat for it, or ruining appetites. "Let's just say last time someone poured my milk for me, it wasn't milk". Curious eyebrows went up around the table. "It was a different white liquid"

Sans, Mettaton, Undyne, and Alphys proceeded to choke on their food. I quickly bit into a fry to avoid their stares. 

The subject was quickly changed and dinner went smoothly. Until Mettaton decided to question me. "So, Chara, darling, is there a reason you participate in the vegetarian lifestyle?"  I swallowed hard and considered my answer. Sans was focused on me, and I knew he was waiting for my answer. 

I looked around at the hot dogs everyone was eating and that's when I got my answer. "Lets just say" People visibly tensed at those three words. "Last time I ate a hot dog it wasn't food". I shoved my tofu dog in my mouth, ignoring the pure rage in Sans's and Undyne's eyes. Anger Fish™ had arrived. Fuck my life. 

This was gonna be a long weekend.


	11. Chara Scares the Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara learns the birds and the bees, monster style

Thankfully Undyne and Sans calmed down. Pretty sure if Undyne hadn't calmed down then the house would be completely on fire. We all stood around her living room eating pie. Mom's pie is not something you can sit down and enjoy. You better be walking all over the house eating that shit. Everything was calm when Sans and Toriel suddenly glided into the center of the room. 

Sans called told everyone  to quiet down and stay still for a bit. Undyne ended up leaning against a wall and I followed suit. Once everyone was in place he sat next to Mom, holding her hand. 

"We have very exciting news to announce" Sans said, grinning ear-to-imaginary-ear. Mom smiled warmly and nodded in confirmation. I saw Alphys squeal and tuck into herself. 

Heh. It was almost like when human couples announce that they're preg- oh hell no. 

Wait. That was impossible. Two different species can't have a kid without some seriously freaky science shit going on. And if Alphys had managed to help them with.... that, then they'd have her helping to announce it. That's just the kind of people they are. Besides, Sans doesn't have genitals. No balls equals no sperm equals no fertilization of eggs. Whatever the news was, it wasn't pregnancy. 

"I'm happy to announce that I am pregnant!" Mom gushed. 

What the fuck 

Papyrus aggressively 'nyah'ed. Mettaton nearly fainted. Undyne cheered. Alphys completely fell over from squealing. Asgore went wide eyed and silent. Muffet nodded approvingly, smiling warmly. Blooky kinda hovered, being his confused ghost self. Asriel and Frisk danced around each other, chanting about new siblings. Monster Kid danced around, not seeming to know what was going on, but wanting to join the fun.

And me? I was ready to kill Sans. And I didn't even need a knife this time. 

In the midst of all the cheering and congratulating I managed to catch Sans's eye. 

"Hey Sans can I talk to you iiiiiiiiiii....." I strung out the word, looking for an escape. I realized that the front door was my only option. "....iiiiiooonnnn the porch?" He shrugged and I started dragging him towards the door. 

Once we were outside with the door firmly shut, I lost it "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY MOTHER". I yelled. 

"Kid relax it's just-"

"You don't-"

"That's not how-"

"And she can't-"

"You aren't even-"

"You don't have a dick!" I finally said, at last figuring out the words. 

He kind of chuckled at that. "Well no, no I don't. Not one that can actually produce sperm anyways. I have an ecto-body, but that didn't come into play here". 

I began to pace the porch. "I mean with her and dad I understood it because they're just goats so it's just like raging barnyard sex and it makes sense. You however are a completely different story and I have no fuckin clue how-"

"Kid please stop. The neighbors are staring. Please stop screaming about goat sex. By their standards you shouldn't even know what sex is." 

"I have known what sex is for the majority of my life I lost my virginity when I was two!" 

He coveted my mouth with his hand and whispered urgently, "If I tell you how I got your mother pregnant will you shut the fuck up"

I nodded, collapsing into the porch swing. He sat next to me, sighing loudly. 

"Soul merging" he said finally. 

"Soul what now?"  

"How your mom got pregnant. It's called soul merging. It's the only form of monster sex that can create offspring. It's how we get around the no genitals thing. It's kinda cool because even homosexual couples can use it. So if Undyne and Alphys ever decided they wanted a baby of their own, it'd be possible. But anyway. That's what happened."

"...Oh" 

"Kid, I'm not gonna hurt your new sibling. I didn't hurt your mom, I didn't hurt Asriel. I jumped to conclusions with you and Frisk. I'm the first to admit that. You had both manipulated each other and I didn't give you a chance, even when you were basically begging for mercy. I'm not gonna make that mistake with this kid. I know you're overprotective of Toriel. But she's gonna be fine. And in 8 months or so when this kid joins our family, I'll be holding her hand every step of the way. I'm not gonna abandon her, or the baby, or you guys. We're a family now."

I stared at the ground. 

"You were worried I was just gonna leave, weren't you?"

I nodded. "I've been abandoned too many times". 

He sighed. "God, sometimes I forget just how insane your parents were. And how shit that mental hospital was". 

"Yeah."

"Well unfortunately for you I'm not going anywhere. You're my stepdaughter now, kid. Toriel and I are gonna make sure you're raised right this time. No getting beat or raped and no getting strapped to tables or locked in padded cells. You're gonna grow up and be an amazing woman. Or man, if that's what you decide. And when you bring home a man, or woman for that matter, then I'll be the stereotypical overprotective dad. I'm not like your birth father. Im not a sick pedophile and I get no enjoyment from seeing you naked, mainly because it usually means you're hurt. And I'm not gonna say anything negative about the big fuzz ball, but I'm not gonna be like Asgore either.  I'm not gonna make you call me dad or anything. But if you decide you're comfortable with it, do it. Call me whatever you want. But regardless of what you call me, I hope you'll understand that I am going to be a dad to you. And all your siblings. I'll be there through the awkward teenage years and the first dates and the first heartbreaks. And I'll be be dad you need me to be. All I can hope is that you'll give me a chance. Believe me kid, if I hurt Tori, or Frisk, or you, or Asriel, or the baby, I'd be killing myself because you could even get your knife. You don't have to worry about me. You just get to be a good sister to all your siblings and fight alongside your family in whatever happens next."

Before I could stop myself I had jumped up and was clinging onto his neck. Thin arms wrapped around my back and I sunk into his shoulder. We stayed like that for a minute before I heard him talking. 

"Now listen. As happy as I'm sure you are that your mom is pregnant, that means you've got some work to do. You guys have to step up in your training, even though it's only been one day.  You have to keep quiet at school, you have to step up around the house. And don't worry, Frisk and Asriel are gonna get this talk too. Don't think I'm singling you out on that stuff. What I am singling you out on is your troublemaking. You've gotta be able to stay out of trouble. If Tori's stress levels get too high she could lose the baby, and I know you don't wanna be the cause of that. Stay out of trouble at school, stop being a little brat at home, just try and behave, okay? Because can I tell you something Chara? I've seen you when you're not trying to constantly be a little rebel. And I know everyone likes the nicer side of you a whole lot more". 

I nodded. "I can try" 

He chuckled. "I guess that's all I can ask. Hey, while we're alone, come talk to me before you go to bed tonight, alright? Probably need to change your bandages." 

I nodded again.  

"But you've got like two hours before you have to go to bed. Let's spend some of that time eating pie". 

I grinned, already on my way to the door...

...with my stepdad right behind me.


	12. Mom Doesn't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I finally clear up the relationships between these children because it was gonna get real confusing if I didn't

Sans, Frisk, Azzy and I all have a strange relationship. It's confusing. 

Frisk and I, well, its obvious what our relationship is, isn't it? She's the reason I'm here. I owe her my life, honestly. The sheer amount of raw Determination she has, I couldn't help but wake up. I was deep in the ground, my soul having returned to my lifeless body when Azzy turned to dust. I followed her as a spirit through all of our resets, giving her advice, translating the dogs and the various monsters she couldn't understand. She was too nervous to speak, so I helped her communicate. A lot of her "flirting" was either me taking control of her body and complimenting them or telling her to wink or blow a kiss. It was really weird sometimes, like listening to her flirt with my mom over the phone. On the genocide runs, I took complete control of her body at times. Her 20 HP was nothing compared to my 80, so it was easier for me to kill. I took over and killed the monsters that were either too hard for her or that she couldn't bring herself to kill. I did 73 of our 78 Sans fights. She gave up after the first five and handed control to me. It was rough and we died 77 times, but I did it. 

And then we reset because we both felt unbelievably guilty. 

But it wasn't my fault. Well, not entirely. It wasn't either of our faults, not entirely. We manipulated each other. I was bored of the pacifist routes. I convinced her to kill. I didn't expect her to go along with it, but I wasn't about to go back on my word. When she couldn't kill some of the monsters, I told her to just give up and reset. She asked me if i could try it for her, convincing me she was curious what would've happened. My curiosity was peaked too, so I took over and tried to kill Undyne. It was oddly satisfying when I got it right. From then on we she was struggling I jumped at the chance to kill for her. So we were both at fault. 

When we finally agreed to stop the resets and let everyone be happy, mom walked in on her talking to me. We agreed to tell everyone I existed. Mom burst into tears when she saw my little spirit-face emerge next to Frisk. At the time, Alphys was in the process of trying to use the dust on Flowey to recreate Asriel's body, so mom just lost it at the chance of getting both her kids back. I hung around as a spirit until Asriel was back. He tried to hug me me being non-corporeal it didn't work. Then we realized something. The soil underground was different than on the surface. It protected my body from decay. My body was still completely intact under those flowers. We dug it up and Alphys worked on pumping the flower poison out of my system. The only thing that had kept me from repossessing my body and digging myself out was that my body was to weak to do anything. Once my body was strong enough, i repossessed my own body and there I was. 

Frisk pretend to be innocent. Sans, she and I all agreed to keep it under wraps. She pretends not to know about the resets and all the times we've killed people. Sans and I know the truth. 

As for Asriel, well, that's still something only Frisk and I know about. They all figured out that Flowey was actually Asriel, but no one knew about that whole God of Hyperdeath thing, which I joke about being Asriel's cringey OC, or the Omega Flowey thing. Only we know his true intentions, to reset, to kill, all the terrible stuff he did. We agreed to let him play innocent. 

I'm the only one of us that doesn't play innocent about all the stuff that happened. Yeah, I try not to talk about the resets and the genocide runs, but that's all I do in the way of innocence. I openly cuss, I ramble on about things that no nine year old should ever know about, and I've been self harming since I was 7. Which was like, 50 years ago. So, yeah, a long time. Frisk and Azzy don't actually know about my self harm, and that's not them playing innocent. Sans is the only one that knows, because most of the doctors that found out about it killed themselves shortly after because I was too much to handle. I've been the cause of a lot of deaths, and I make suicide and self harm jokes on a regular basis, not concerned about anyone's responses. 

And then there's Sans. He knows. How could he not know? He killed Frisk and I 77 times. And it was rough, but he can't forget. Undyne took forever to kill, too, but she doesn't remember anything. She loves us now, she's like the fun vodka aunt of the family. But Sans, he knows. He didn't forget. He never will. He knows we feel guilty and he knows why. He knows Frisk is handling her guilt better than I am. I can barely handle what I've done. Yeah it was fun in the moment, but afterwards it all came flooding back to me. I felt awful. Frisk and I spent a while in the void, hovering by the reset button, crying. And when we came back, oh boy, Sans was not happy. But after a couple more resets doing the pacifist run, he saw that we had changed, and he became the goofy pun-loving skeleton we knew. 

And mom knows nothing about any of it. 

I cut for all sorts of reasons. It started when I was 7, in the hospital, because I was just so done with how my life had gone to shit. The doctors did all they could to stop me, but they couldn't figure out how I kept getting new scars. The truth is it was my fingernails. The made us keep our nails short anyway, but I still found ways to do it. They would've had to rip my fingernails and toenails clean off. That's how determined I was to hurt myself. 

The second reason was the guilt from the resets. The guilt really got to me. The first thing Frisk did when my body came back was give me the knife and locket we found in the castle, and oh boy, did I make use of that knife. 

The third reason is.. Well, you'll just have to see, won't you?


	13. Erasing the Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara reveals the stupidest reason for her cutting

The third reason I cut? Oh yeah, I'm sure you were just dying to know. Well, fine. 

Ebottville is the same town I've lived in all my life, this crazy town with Mt. Ebott sitting on the edge of it that's now filled with monsters. Because of that, my family is buried here. But not just in normal gravestones. No, my aunts, except the one whose still alive somewhere, my grandparents, my parents, and my brother are all buried in one of those mausoleums. It's one of those big ones, and in the middle of the cemetery. And guess what it has printed in huge block letters on the side of it. My birth last name. Reed. You know what looks sort of like Reed if you add some letters? My actual last name. Dreemurr. 

How does this tie into my cutting? Simple. I cut to use the blood to paint Dreemurr over the word Reed. 

Because everyone was staying for the weekend, it was going to be harder to sneak out tonight. But I could do it. I've been doing it for two months now and no one has caught me yet. 

Luckily, only Monster Kid was sleeping in our room tonight, everyone else was in guest bedrooms or couches. 

When we settled down for night, I made sure my camo jacket was close under my bed, next to my shoes for easy access. I found Bloody Mary, the knife Sans forgot to take and hide, and stuffed it in the inner pocket of the jacket. Then I could throw on my jacket and shoes and be ready to go. 

I pretended to be asleep for a good three hours. It was around midnight when I decided that everyone was asleep and that it was safe to get up. I put on my shoes and jacket, making sure my knife was still in the pocket. After one last check to make sure no one had heard me get up, I slipped out the door.

Forgetting my phone and keys entirely. But whatever. I'd pay the price for that later. 

***********************************************************

I trudged across town. The cemetery was a ways away. The bad news was the only way I get through without being arrested or otherwise caught was to go through a bunch of back allies and dangerous spots of town. The weak spot in the fence that I'm able to jump over is behind a bunch of sketchy bars. I'm used to having to walk through that part of town though. 

It was about 1 AM at this point, and it was pitch black except for the few broken streetlamps. They gave off a dim glow. These bars around here get really fucked up at this time of night. I could hear the sounds of screaming and glass breaking from where I walked. I kept my head down and kept going. I had walked this route too many times to be scared of the chaos going on inside the decrepit buildings. 

As I crept behind the back-ally bars where shootings definitely happen on a nightly basis, it started to rain. Just my fuckin' luck I guess. There was no safe place to duck under until it cleared up. I just had to keep going. 

Up ahead, I saw a definitely drunk guy stumble out of the back door of a bar, holding a half-empty bottle of beer. I gripped my knife tighter in the inner pocket of my jacket, sensing a fight about to go down when the bartender followed him. I heard angry shouting from both of them but I wasn't listening closely enough to figure out what it was about. I paused to look for a detour as the bartender went back inside. As I stood there, the drunk guy stumbled up to me and started groping me, spilling his beer down the front of my jacket in the process. In a panic, I whipped out my knife and stabbed him. I don't even know where I stabbed him, it was that dark out. I tucked the knife back in my jacket and ran for it. 

Finally, I had made it to the last block before the cemetery. Above me, the only streetlight on this street went out. Great. Just fucking great. 

I had to squint in the darkness. I had forgotten my phone and I didn't want to call attention to myself by using my flashlight anyway. Stupid broken streetlights. I pulled the knife back out and took a tentative step towards where I remembered the fence being. 

I saw a familiar flash of blue light in front of me and immediately froze. I looked at the short figure that emerged from the light and my eyes went wide. He was a little taller than me and pale. He was like, dead white. His left eye was glowing bright blue. 

"K I D D O" 

I didn't think. I just fuckin ran for it. 

**********************************************************************************

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

That probably wasn't smart, but I didn't care at this point. I wasn't about to get my ass beat or something. Who knows what Sans would have done if he had caught me. Dear god. 

Soon enough, I found myself in front of the mausoleum. Because my grandparents were like, filthy rich, the thing was well lit. I quickly found where the last name was carved, and I couldn't help but smile when I noticed how well my past "art" had stayed on. All I had left was the two Rs. I rolled up my left sleeve and started slicing. 

As I always do, I worked on autopilot while cutting. I was barely paying attention to what I was doing. Once it registered in my brain that I had enough blood to work with, I stopped and dropped the knife. I could always cut deeper if I needed more blood. I swirled my index finger in the blood and got to work. Painting the letters got difficult at times. The angles could be problematic. And working with my own blood meant I often had to stop to wretch and try not to throw up. I hate how it feels on my skin. But it was good enough for me. 

I stepped back to admire my handiwork. Finally. The "legacy" of my stupid birth family had been erased. Chariana Reed was no more. The Reeds were no more. Chara Dreemurr was here to stay. Dreemurr is my last name and that's how its gonna stay. 

TRIGGER WARNING OVER

I turned to the side. My intent was to head inside the mausoleum and tear up the flowers. Every year my Aunt Eponine plants these elaborate flowers on her twin sister's grave. Every year I rip them up and dispose of them. Of course I lost some years when I was dead, but I made up for it in the long run. If my calculations were correct, she'd planted them five days ago. 

However as I turned to go inside, I was stopped. I felt the familiar warmth of telekinesis magic surrounding me and I looked up into the eye of an angry Sans. 

He flicked his wrist, bringing me closer to him. Up close I saw that he was soaked to the bone, literally. He was panting and... sweating? Wait, he's a skeleton, how does he- you know what never mind. His permanent grin had been replaced with a look of... fear? His eyes were half closed, as if he was imitating when being with eyelids narrow their eyes. His pupils were gone and his left eye was glowing blue. A typical angry Sans. 

Except this time I knew he wasn't fucking around. He was genuinely pissed off and I knew exactly why. I gulped and dropped my eyes to the ground, awaiting some sort of lecture. 

After a minute of heavy panting, he caught his breath. It felt like an eternity before he spoke, and what he said was not what I expected. 

"You're gonna be the death of me, Chariana"


	14. She's a Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author discovers they're not great at writing Sans but they decided to do it anyway.

SANS'S POV

Okay. I can admit. I expected Chara to be a rebel. What I wasn't expecting was exactly how rebellious she can be, and for the stupidest reasons. 

I also didn't expect a timid looking Frisk to tiptoe into my bedroom at 12:16 AM nervously telling me Chara wasn't in bed. When you're a stepdad, nothing will terrify you more than your troublemaking daughter vanishing in the middle of the night. I was up in an instant, throwing open the door to the kids' room to see a concerned Asriel sitting on his bed holding Chara's phone. Monster Kid was on the air mattress on the floor in front of the beds chewing on his lips. Sure enough, Chara was nowhere to be seen. A quick glance at the kids' storage rack revealed Chara's coat and shoes to be missing and her house keys remaining. Not only had the brat snuck out, but she didn't have her phone or keys. 

"We searched the entire house," Asriel said. "She's not here"

Apparently, most of our guests had woken up during that search, because everyone except Asgore and Muffet was soon tiredly sitting in the living room. 

"Honestly, that girl cannot stay out of trouble" Toriel whispered. No kidding. And after all I'd said about Tori needing to keep her stress levels down, Chara goes and pulls a stunt like this?

"Daddy, you find her. You can teleport, you'll get to her faster, and its raining" Frisk suggested. A sudden flash of lightning proved her words. 

"I'll come too" Toriel started to say, but I stopped her. 

"No. Let me go alone, sweetheart. Frisk is right. I can get there faster, and you need to stay rested. Why don't you make us some hot chocolate for when we get back?" 

She nodded. Good. I'm not letting my son or daughter be lost to stress just because my oldest kid wants to be an idiot. 

I grabbed one of my hoodies from the hall closet and put it on, pulling the drawstrings tight around my face. The rain was really coming down. 

As soon as I left the house I caught the trace of her magic. It was faint, probably because she had been gone for a while. I followed the trail like a bloodhound finding prey. I was completely blind to my surroundings and soon found myself in one of the most dangerous parts of town. Her magic trail was significantly stronger here. Little brat had gone walking past bars and shit. I heard the sound of broken glass and looked around. I saw two figures, one of them taller, but hunched over, and the other one about Chara's height. The taller one fell and the shorter one took off running. I approached the fallen man. He was definitely drunk, and he had dropped a beer bottle as he fell. That was the glass breaking. And he'd been stabbed. Chara's magic trail was very strong. As I leaned over him I realized the trail was overpowering around the area of the stab wound. 

Chara's knife! I took off running in the direction the shorter figure had run. I caught up to her pretty quickly and teleported in front of her. 

"K I D" I started, but she darted past me and wove between buildings. I could hear how heavily she was breathing. She wouldn't be able to run much longer. She's a resilient kid but she has small lungs. 

I ran between the buildings until I picked up the traces of her magic again. She was going towards, the cemetery? 

Ignoring my confusion, I took off running, hopping the fence and looking around. A short shadow was standing by a well-lit building. I recognized it as a mausoleum. I slowed my walking and steadied my breathing. The rain was pouring and the unkept yard of the cemetery was full of holes. I stepped in at least 6 mud puddles trying to get to her. 

Thanks to the lights on the outside of the mausoleum, I could see a red substance dripping into the grass below the figure. The figure stretched up and ran a finger down the surface of the building, leaving a dark trail in its wake. My heart jumped into my throat as I drew closer. 

It was Chara. Her left sleeve was pushed up and her forearm was covered in blood. Her knife was clenched in her left fist, bloody. I watched in silent horror as she swirled her right index finger in the blood and ran it across the stone, as effortlessly as a small child would do when fingerpainting. I looked up at the stone and I wanted to scream. 

The mausoleum had clearly said Reed, but now the r had a D in front of it and the d was painted over with an M. Following the M was a U and two Rs, one of which was being painted by Chara's blood right before my eyes. All of the added letters were painted in blood. And all of them except the two Rs were faded and brown. She was using her blood to paint Dreemurr over Reed and she'd probably been doing it for months I wanted to scream at her for so many reasons, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. 

She looked up at the work she'd done and I saw that damn smile. That sadistic smile that should only be seen on the face of a serial killer. It has no place on a nine-year-old face, even if that face has eyes that have seen as much as Chara has. She was proud?! Of this?! 

She turned around and I thought fast. A quick stretch of my left hand had her encircled in my magic. I levitated her a few inches off the ground, pulled her closer, and forced her to face me. I wanted to yell. I wanted to tell her how stupid she had been. But when I looked into her eyes, all I saw was fear. 

I'd never seen her look legitimately scared. She put on a brave face and acted fearless most of the time. She wasn't even this frightened when we fought in the final corridor. I couldn't yell. I could barely even lecture her in the state we were both in. She wasn't even fighting to get out of my grip. 

I sighed and I saw her eyes flick down the stare at the grass and stay there. So she wasn't gonna look me in the eye? I could understand why.

It was pouring down rain, we were both soaked through, she was bleeding badly, and back at home everyone was awake and probably freaking out. She was in need of a punishment and a punishment there would be. But not in the middle of a stormy night next to a blood-covered mausoleum. For now, I just had to get her home. 

"You're gonna be the death of me, Chariana" I said, to break the horribly tense silence more than anything. I pulled her closer to me and gripped the back of her jacket tightly, releasing my magical grip on her in the process. She was NOT running. "Let's get home" 

"Wait!" She suddenly cried and fought against my grip. She ended up just wrestling out of her jacket since I wasn't holding onto her shirt, and she was free from my grip. In a split-second choice, I started to levitate her again, but she had taken off running into the mausoleum calling "I gotta do this first!" I followed her into the building. 

"Kiddo, don't make me chase you. It's 12:33 AM, we're both soaked, and your mom is gonna kill us both. If you're trying to dodge the lecture you're getting, just know there's no chance of that happening. Let's just get home and dry off". 

She blatantly ignored me and continued walking in. The centerpieces of the building were three coffins. Two larger, and one even shorter than Chara herself. A bouquet of fresh flowers rested on one of the larger ones, which Chara took and promptly broke the stems. I was too in shock to try and stop her. She knelt down in front of the smallest coffin with a sad smile and spoke in the smallest voice I have ever heard that kid speak in

"Salut, Celeste..."


	15. The Villian of My Own Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chara quits her badass act to talk to her dead brother

AN: Assume everything Chara says to the grave in this chapter is supposed to be French

Chara's POV

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have broken free from his grip but I had a brother to talk to.

"I'm here now. I know I left you alone but you don't have to be alone anymore. You're up there in heaven. I wish I was headed up there with you buddy.  But I'm going to hell for sure. 

I have it good here. The monsters are good to me. I love them. But never as much as I love you. 

I started learning magic today. Not the kind we read in storytime. Actual magic. Your big sis is gonna fight off the mean humans who are attacking my family.  I'm gonna protect them. 

Sans is still a big goon but he's trying his best to make me comfortable. I know you never understood what dad was doing to me, but Sans does. He's making sure I don't get flashbacks or anything. 

I haven't seen Auntie. I'm glad. She was mean. Remember how mean she was? 

I love you Celestè. So much. I wish I could say I'll see you soon but we both know I won't get into heaven. But Frisk will. She's really nice. She saved my life. You'll like her. 

I gotta go now Celestè. I know you're up there somewhere. My angel of a brother. I'll see you next month. 

Au revoir" 

I stood up and brushed off. Sans was staring at me in shock. 

Sans's POV

What am I doing? I should be taking her home, not listening to her talk to a coffin in some other language! 

Something in these ol' bones was telling me to leave her be. When she finished I could only stare at her. I didn't know what she said. It was all in French. But I had never heard Chara use that tone of voice. 

Chara was always bold and brash. She had no filter and didn't think before she spoke. But her voice was whisper quiet and she seemed to be thinking very hard about every word she spoke. 

"He uh, meant a lot to you" 

She seemed taken aback. "You could understand that?" 

"Oh hell no, not a single word" I chuckled. "I just assumed based on your tone of voice" 

"Oh. Well you're right. He was my world. Life never broke him down. He was always the good one, the innocent one. I took all the abuse because I knew he couldn't handle it. It'd destroy him. He was all I had. He didn't deserve the shit he got! Any of it!" 

I didn't know what to say. In that moment all I saw was a broken kid. She acts so tough but she's so broken inside. It's heart wrenching to watch her pretend she's okay. Kid has been fighting for her life since birth and yet still put her brother first. Hell, not even just Celestè, Asriel too. That plan they had was all her idea. To try and free us. 

But here she was. With all the rape and abuse and death she's experienced, she's still saying her brother was the one who had it worse. 

I'm real glad I gave this kid a chance. 

"Ya know, it's not like you deserved it either. You had it worse than he did. You didn't do anything to earn it. No one deserves that kind of abuse kid" 

"Don't try and paint me as the hero Sans. We both know I'm the villain of my own story" 

I wanted to slap her for that. But I wasn't about to sink to that level. 

"Are ya done here? Because I think it's time you and I had a talk" 

"I already know how the birds and the bees work" 

I rolled my eyes. "Not that talk. A talk about what happened tonight. Not gettin out of it" 

She sighed heavily. "Fine." 

I handed her her jacket. Once she put it back on, I took her (gently) by the wrist and teleported us home.


	16. We Aren’t Sleeping Anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans is done with Chara but also realizes he fucked up

Chara's POV

When we got back home, Mom was waiting for us in the living room. The smell of hot cocoa was thick in the air and a steaming mug of  it sat on the coffee table.

"Chara, my child! You gave us quite a scare when we realized you weren't home! Are you alright?" 

I nodded. She sighed in relief. 

"Thank heavens. There's a mug of cocoa on the counter for you. I know you like to pour the milk yourself." 

"Thanks Mom" Before I could slip away she dropped a towel around my shoulders. 

"You're going to be the death of us my girl" 

I gave a weak smile and padded into the kitchen. I poured my almond milk into the mug of cocoa powder and stuck it in the microwave. 

I heard Sans and mom talking in hushed whispers. I just knew it was about me. 

Mom came in and hugged me. "I'm going to bed, Chara. You should too. Your siblings must be worried about you" 

"I know mom. Goodnight. I love you". 

"I love you too, my dear." She glided down the hall to her room. 

I pulled my cocoa out of the microwave, gave it a stir, and started towards the living room, but Sans stopped me. He was holding my green flannel pajamas and a pair of clean socks. 

"Stay in here and get changed. Toss the wet clothes to the laundry room and then come out here. I don't want you waking up Frisk and Asriel and you're goin straight to bed after we talk" 

I rolled my eyes when he turned his back. 

I changed into the soft pajamas and carried my mug of cocoa to the living room. Sans was sitting there in his navy blue robe, the first aid kit next to him. 

He pointed to the spot in front of him. "Arm". He said simply. 

I stood in front of him and rolled up my left sleeve. I avoided eye contact as he scanned the cuts. There were four of them and they were pretty deep. The bleeding had stopped and the blood around them was dried. 

He took some antibacterial wipes out of the first aid kit and scrubbed at my arm. I winced in pain and instinctively flinched but he kept a tight grip on my wrist. 

Soon, all the blood was off. He dug in the kit until he found some kind of gel, which he spread over the kits. It was a pale green and kind of shimmered. I stared at it in fascination until he wrapped it in a fresh bandage. He grabbed my jacket off the floor and reached into the inner pocket. He pulled out my knife. 

Bloody Mary is my prized possession. It's the knife mom and dad gave me. The handle is jet black. A small green button releases the blade, and my name is engraved in handle in green cursive writing. 

He pressed the button and released the blood covered blade. He stared at it contemplatively for a minute and then looked up at me. My eyes went to the floor, but he titled my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eye. 

"Start talking. How long have you been doing that?" 

"J-just tonight..." 

"Bullshit." He practically growled the word. "I know damn well you didn't have enough time to paint the first 6 letters between your stupid escape act and me finding you doing that shit. The first 6 letters were brown. They'd been there way too long. Plus if you had bled that much you would be unconscious right now. Probably even dead. So cut the shit and tell me how long you've actually been doing this" 

How stupid am I, honestly? Of course he'd figure it out. There was no point in lying about it anymore. I was already royally fucked. 

"I've been doing it since I came back to life" 

"Figured. Have you been using this knife all that time?" 

I nodded. 

"This is the knife you used to stab the drunk guy, right?" 

Another nod. 

"You didn't clean it in between" It wasn't a question. It was a fact. 

"No. No I didn't". 

He seemed to get... more angry? If that was possible?

"Chariana Elizabeth Dreemurr" It scared me how calmly he said it. "Do you realize how much danger you've put yourself in?! When the cops find out they can trace it back to you so easily it's not even funny. Not only did you paint your last name on the thing, but it's your blood. DNA tests don't lie, Chariana! Not only can you be traced very easily, but you combined your blood with the blood of some back alley drunk guy who got kicked out of a bar. Do you know what kinda diseases that guy could've had? You could've gotten AIDs from that guy's blood! Did you even think about that?!" 

I stared blankly. I hadn't. 

He sighed. "Of course you didn't"

I didn't know if I should have taken offense to that or not. 

"So what are ya gonna do? Beat me? No surprise there. Let's get this over with. I'd rather go to bed with bruises than get them first thing in the morning" 

Sans's eye was flaming. Oh shit. 

"What the fuck, kid?! You automatically jump to conclusion that I'm going to beat you?!" 

"That's what you did last time I did something wrong! 74 times that I died at your hand, Sans!" I fired back. 

Sans looked stunned. Yeah take that you fucking hypocrite. 

He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me down into a sitting position next to him. He whistled out a note of disbelief. 

"Damn. Didn't realize you were holdin a grudge." 

"Can you blame me?"

"Honestly, no. I mean, you did do some stupid stuff, but you've long since made up for it." He gave me a small smile, but I could see the grimace behind it. "Guess you weren't the only one with some making up to do" 

I blinked in surprise. 

"Kiddo, I've been going about this wrong. Before I proposed to Toriel I swore up and down that I was gonna give you a chance to be good. And no, you haven't been the best kid so far. But Toriel handed me the reigns for you, so to speak. You and I think alike. If we weren't at each other's throats we'd probably be a force to be reckoned with. You've got amazing potential. I wanna bring it out of you. I just haven't been doing that the right way. 

My point is, I don't know how to handle you, but I know I'm not doing it right. I'm on your ass the second you do something wrong instead of listening to you. We're not gonna make it like this. One of us is gonna end up dead before this war against humanity even starts. And it honestly could be either of us." 

He moved his arm in a way that looked like he was trying to wrap it over my shoulder, but he stopped. "Can I?" 

I realized he was asking permission to touch me. I nodded slowly. His hand rested on my shoulder and pulled me in a little tighter. I took a long, slow drink of hot chocolate. It was warm and sweet. I felt my skin, soaked from the rain, slowly warm up again. 

"So I'm gonna figure out what you need. We're gonna figure it out together. You've been repressing this shit for years and that's not healthy. So when you snap, you really snap. But you weren't taught any other way. I don't know what those so-called doctors put you through but it obviously wasn't anything useful. You've been through a lot, and you've got a lot to work through. I get that. From now on I'm gonna try harder to listen to you and figure out why you acted out. Hopefully we can get it to where you don't act out at all, but I'm no miracle worker" he chuckled. I punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Okay, okay, I get it." 

I kinda smiled at that. 

"The exception to that is tonight. You're in huge trouble because that was just plain stupid and any story you can come up with to explain yourself is just gonna be bullshit. So you're getting extra training for a week." 

That didn't seem like a punishment. 

"Can that start now?l 

"Kid you need some sleep." 

"You got me wired on hot chocolate, I'm not gonna sleep! I wanna train! Come on, my first lesson got interrupted, why don't we finish it?" 

Sans gave a small smile. "God you're a maniac" 

"No shit Sherlock"

**************************

Two hours later, I was panting heavily. I had been trying to lift up my own jacket the entire time. I took like 700 tries before I succeeded but I fuckin did it. Take that universe! 

"Holy shit that's awesome!" 

"Eh. Guess it is when you're not used to it" 

"Well you're not exactly used to doing anything besides slamming me against a wall" 

"Low blow, kid" 

I snickered "You know you deserve it. So how dead are we when mom finds out we trained all night instead of sleeping?" 

"Oh kid, she's not lettin you near hot chocolate again after that" 

"Aw damn it"


	17. It’s Our Fight Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get racist.

Sunday night. Everything was peaceful. The three of us had been training hard all weekend. I had almost full control of my telekinesis, and even though I was exhausted, I knew it would be worth it in the end. 

Everything was going fine until Mom's phone rang. 

She answered, but was silent as the person on the other line told her the situation. She bit her lip, causing Sans to scoot closer to her. I was cross legged on the floor, working on a puzzle with Frisk and Azzy. I looked up. 

Mom hung up the phone without a word, sighed dejectedly, and looked down at us. 

"I'm afraid this conflict between the races is growing. That was the school. The decision has been made that lunches will be segregated. The monster children will eat lunch separately than the human children. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do to change their minds. Starting tomorrow, a security guard will be going around to classrooms and collecting the monster kids to make them eat separately. I'm so sorry you children are having to deal with this". 

"What?!"

"That's not fair!" 

"They can't do that shit!" 

"They can and they have. I'm sorry kids. It's out of my hands now. I'm going to clean up the kitchen. You three need to think about bed" 

I was fuming. They couldn't do this to us. They wouldn't do this to us! Frisk and I weren't gonna be separated from Azzy! We're a team! 

I thought carefully about what mom had said. I glanced at Frisk, and I could tell she was thinking about it too. Before I could get any ideas, Sans piped up. 

"Oh no. I practically see the gears turnin in your heads. You're staging some kind of rebellion. I know this isn't fair, but you're just going to have to go with it. Please, don't cause a scene" He looked directly at me when he said that. 

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Whatever" 

He left the room. I turned to the others. 

"So we're causing a scene tomorrow"

**************************

The next day, the teacher explained the lunch situation. Before, we ate at noon. Now the monster kids would eat at 11:00. 

Sure enough, at 11, one of the security guards came around to our room. We saw MK and Sparkler, Grillby's daughter, behind him, as well as some others. Asriel stood up and walked over to him, probably dead set on eating alone since he didn't know our plan. Frisk and I stood and followed him. 

The security guard gave us dirty looks. "This is for the monster children. You two need to sit down." 

I dragged Frisk past him. "We are monster children". 

"Don't argue with me. You're human"

"Really? Because that's our brother." I pointed to Asriel. "And Mrs Dreemurr, ya know, the most loved kindergarten teacher here, is our mom. And she's a monster. We are the children of monsters. And therefore, monster children." 

The guard looked like he didn't know what to say. 

Frisk joined in. "We're eating lunch with our brother one way or another. It's just the question of are we eating with his lunch or is he eating with ours?" 

I snickered internally. Frisk was normally never one to challenge authority. 

"I will have to bring this to the principal you two" 

"Bring it to the principal all you want. We're eating with our brother"

**************************

Sans was picking us up that day. When we spotted his car in the parking lot, he was standing outside it with his arms crossed. Anyone else would think he was angry but we knew him. Frisk and I could see the glimmer of pride behind his eyes. 

We got to his car and the rock paper scissor tournament for shotgun began. I won. The other two started to climb into the backseat, but before I could walk around to the passenger door, Sans put a hand on my shoulder. 

"I thought I said no staging a rebellion"

"I did no such thing" I said, faking an offended tone "I just wanted to eat lunch with my brother!" 

"Why'd I get a call saying you were sassing a security guard?" 

I scoffed. "I sass everyone, the guard wasn't special"

He chuckled. "Get in the car, ya little idiot. I'm not sure you realize what you did." 

It was a long and awkward car ride. 

When we arrived at home, he was dead silent. Jesus. I didn't think it was that bad. 

He pulled into the driveway and pointed wordlessly to the door. The other two made their way inside. I started at him, trying to read his expression. There was nothing to read. He shook his head and pointed more insistently towards the door. I shuffled up the steps and into the living room after my siblings. I heard a click behind me, leading me to believe he had teleported. Sure enough, we walked in and there he was. He pointed to the couch. 

I slipped my bag off my shoulders and sat down on the couch. I pulled my knee up to my chest and looked at him questioningly. 

"Who's idea was it?" He asked. He was already looking at me. 

The other two pointed at me. Way to throw me under the bus guys. 

He sighed and collapsed to the floor in front of the couch. 

"Explain yourself."  Well at least he was sticking to his promise. 

"We're not about to sit by and let the racist idiots of this town take over the school.  And we're damn well not leaving Azzy to eat lunch alone" 

"Daddy, you can't expect us to sit by and let all this happen. You're training us to fight in the war itself but you won't let us stand up for ourselves at school?"  Frisk chimed in. 

"This isn't something you three need to be concerned with. You're going to get yourselves in trouble and they could very well get Toriel fired!" 

"She's not getting fired because her kids wanted to eat lunch together" I shot back at him. "You really think they're gonna let the finest teacher in that school go over this? I don't fuckin think so" 

"This is something you need to let the adults handle" he snapped. 

"Well the adults said it's out of their hands" Frisk retorted. 

"What has gotten into you today Frisk. You're normally much better behaved than this and you know better then to follow Chara's schemes" 

"You and I both know that neither of those statements are correct". 

Sans got very quiet. I coughed awkwardly. Azzy, sweet little Azzy, had no memory of our Judgement Hall experience. 

Sans cleared his nonexistent throat and continued in a much quieter voice. "You need to talk to us if there's a problem. You can't just take it into your own hands. We're a family, right? That means we gotta work together on things like this." 

Azzy nodded. But I wasn't having it and based on her defensive stance, neither was Frisk. 

"You'll just tell us not to do anything" I retaliated. "You expect me to sit there and take it? I broke the rules of physics and you think I'm gonna sit on my ass and take this blatant racism? It's our fight too Sans. We know what we're doing. There's no reason we'd stand by and let this happen. Ever" 

Frisk nodded. "I don't care if you ground me forever. We're not going down without a fight".

"You shouldn't have to fight in this stupid thing! You should be able to just be kids!" 

Asriel finally spoke up. "Sans. Mom isn't here so we don't have anything to sugarcoat. We've all done awful things. We've all gone through some stuff. All four of us have died at one point or another. So let's not pretend we're innocent just because we're kids. We all had to grow up faster than we should've." He trailed off, not sure how to finish. 

I picked up where we left off. "It wasn't right that we had to go through what we did, but regardless, we're mature enough to handle this. It's our fight too.  You can't shut us out just because we're physically younger" 

"What do you mean physically?" 

"If Asriel and I hadn't died we'd be almost 60 by now. If Frisk had never touched the reset button she would be almost 16 by now. We're all a lot older mentally than we are physically". 

"Which means we're mature enough to handle a fight". 

Sans stared at us. I couldn't read his thoughts. I had no idea what he was going to say. 

He sighed and gave a small smile. "Alright. I'll bite. I'm extremely proud of ya for standing up for what's right. As much as I hate that both of you have such strong determination sometimes, I'll admit it's useful. When we do have to fight, I know you two won't back down. Frisk won't ever stop trying to make things right, and Chara is too stubborn to lose. I know you're gonna go far, kid". I assumed he was talking to both of us there. "And Asriel, look at ya. You normally barely say a word to me and here you are sassing me just like your sisters. I'm amazed." 

I snickered. Asriel showing any sort of attitude was not common at all. 

"Does this mean we're not in trouble?" Classic Frisk. 

"Not this time". 

"Fuck Yeah!"

"One of these days I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap, Chara" 

"I'll bite your fucking hand off".


End file.
